Living in Today

Alcoholics Anonymous has taught me many tools. One of the biggest tools is living in today. Today is all I have and I believe God is in the here and now. The enemy wants me to live in tomorrow or yesterday. My mind is my own worst enemy. I cannot change the past. When I go to the past, I feel regret, shame and guilt. If I could go back to the past, I would change many things, but I cannot do that.

When my mind goes to the future, I am full of fear and worry. Whenever I find myself worrying about something it is usually something that is in tomorrow or the distant future. Most of the things I worry about or am afraid of never come to fruition. The fear and worry of tomorrow can ruin my day today.

I am 19 months sober, and the last time I relapsed was because I was not living in today. My mind was messing with me. I kept thinking about never drinking EVER again. I was thinking of all the times in the future of when I would want to drink but could not. I could not drink on vacation, holidays, sporting events, family barbecues, New Year’s, St Patrick’s Day, etc. I was overwhelmed with the thought that I could never drink ever again. Eventually one of those events came up and I convinced myself I could have just one. I ended up binge drinking for ten months and almost lost my family.

I had to learn that I cannot think about never drinking again. I must keep my mind in the here and now. I can not drink TODAY. With this mindset, I am free and I can trust my Higher Power to help me accomplish that. Each day that I stay sober is a step in the right direction. I do not have to take two steps back anymore.

Freedom is in today. I am free from those chains, right here, right now. My life is good, right here, right now. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and have a blessed day, today!

By Brett H, Akron Intergroup Newsletter – June 2017